2 days ago myself and Carsten Pfisterer were having a charged argument. We were throwing at each other angry phrases and blaming each other for not showing support for each other. And that was the first time I consciously heard myself saying: “I’m tired of everyone having fun at my expense”.   Our thoughts create emotions. And our emotions create actions. That, in turn, creates results. And of course I was charged with anger if my basic thought is that “everyone is having fun at my expense”. This is the filter I look at the world through. This thought makes me angry as I believe my boundaries are being violated. So I jump in the fight. Which creates separation instead of connection that I’m so longing for. So how does this thought serve me when my goal is to create connection?   Make it a habit to tune into what you are saying. Our words are our thoughts that create our reality. Listen to the phrases where you use the words “always”, “never”, “everyone”, “noone”. These are direct indications that you are telling yourself “a story”. And if you catch yourself doing this, just ask yourself, as naive, as you can be “Is it, really, the case?”.   “I’m always dating idiots”. “Do you? Really?”. Cuz maybe there is even something awesome about those idiots. “My boss always gives me the most boring tasks”. “Does he/she? Really?” Cuz maybe there were a couple of tasks you actually enjoyed. “Noone cares about my opinion”. “Do they? Really?”. Cuz I’m sure you will be able to remember a couple of times when your opinion was taken into consideration.   The Work of Byron Katie is a good source to check on these beliefs you adopted at some point of time in your life and are using now without even noticing that they might not only not serve you in reaching your goals, but even contribute to a completely opposite result.   Let us know in the comments if you hear yourself saying any of these phrases and how these thoughts affect your behaviors.

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